Dear 1950s Frigidaire Imperial Refrigerator,
Unfortunately, things are not going to work out between us. I am so sorry for rushing into a relationship.
Before meeting you, I only dreamed about machines like you. When we first met I found you irresistible, hip, and that chrome trim made my knees shake.
You were always so eager to hand me a beer. Remember when I first put eggs in your rack? Golly you have an amazing rack.
Trust me baby; when I say it’s not you, it’s me. I should change for you, but I can’t. I need someone who can handle all of me; I’ve got too much baggage baby. Move on.
I will never forget when I first touched your curves, or laid eyes on your mint green interior.
It’s time to go. Goodbye.
I. Honestly. Don’t have words right now. You’re going to keep this in the basement right? You can’t possibly sell it. Two words:
BEER FRIDGE.
SDFLSKDFJ OMG
I feel like the opposite of double rainbow.