Manly Review: Abraham Lincoln

I know what you’re thinking. This logsplitter is automagically gonna get five out of five manly stars. Not true. We don’t let anyone off the hook, don’t let anyone slide, no matter how epic their beard might be.

Abraham Lincoln was obviously a great president, statesmen, and scholar. However, no one has dared ask the question: How manly was Abraham Lincoln? We here at manlyvintage dare ask the questions that no one asks (usually because they’re really stupid and pointless questions).

[easyreview title="Abraham Lincoln" cat1title="Childhood" cat1detail="Born in the early 1800s, this son of a pioneer was known for his beardery and his log chopping skills. He dropped out of school so that he could split logs and trim his beard full time, as well as help his younger brother and sisters fight Indians. Both of these things are very manly. However, he also DROPPED OUT OF SCHOOL. Stay in school kids. Stay in school." cat1rating="4" cat2title="Appearance" cat2detail="Most famous beard of all time. Need I say more? Yes, I do, I actually do. He was famous for his stove pipe hat, which I think actually increases his manliness. Whenever I want to know how masculine an article of clothing is, I just imagine a girl wearing it. Then I do a google search. When I searched for sexy girl in a stove pipe hat I didn't find anything. Okay, I did find something but it requires eye-bleach" cat2rating="5" cat3title="Actions" cat3detail="He did fight and win the Civil War, but come on, who wouldn't, it seemed like it would have been a lot of fun!" cat3rating="3.5" summary="Overall Manliness: 4 out of 5 stars."]

Summary: When he wasn’t picking beef stew from his beard, fist fighting a bear, or insulting token crew members, he was busy changing the world. He became the 16th president of the United States. That’s crazy right!!! He went from chopping trees and splitting up candy bars to winning the Civil War all while sporting an insane beard. Now that’s a very manly man, if I say so myself.